Dear Shell,

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago and I am devastated. I hurt so bad I can't breathe. I knew when I met him he was "the one" and without him there seems to be no happiness in my life. There is no point in the day where the pain in my heart doesn't overcome me. I just recently chose to turn to God for help. I am praying but the answer isn't coming. Why? One day I feel some hope and the next I spend crying. Please help me, what can I do to be happy again? - Devastated in Baltimore

Dear Devastated,

The first few weeks after a breakup are the hardest. When God taps your shoulder and says, "My dear sweet daughter, look up and I will show you the way" you have been blessed with the first seedlings of faith. The hope you are feeling intermittently is proof of that. Where there is God, there is hope. As a "newbie" your going to expect instant results and that's normal, but when the answer doesn't come after a marathon prayer session you feel disappointed and think the answer is a "no". These are all normal things to be feeling.

Now let me give you the good news. God will never let you hope for the impossible. Say a prayer and ask God to change your heart if your lost love is not the one. If you still feel hope then keep praying and keep believing. Sometimes life's answers require a little bit of marinating. The Lord has your attention, instead of focusing on the absence of your boyfriend, force yourself to focus on the solution...God. He is bigger than any problem that exists in this world ANY PROBLEM.

In Psalms 37:4 (My personal favorite) the writer tells us to "Delight in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". Happiness comes from within. When you take your focus off of the problem and learn that fear does NOT come from God, (neither does worry, or despair) you can better understand that you now have the best friend you will ever need. You have The Lord. He lives in your heart and he will build his place there the more you open up and give into Him. To know that you have The Creator of all things living inside you is an awesome thought, in time, when you start feeling blue you will remember that you are not alone and God is simply marinating your answer. You'll begin to look forward to your time with Him. This will make you happy.

Get to know Him in your own way and as time goes by, you'll realize that no matter where your boyfriend is, you have all you need to make you happy. You'll actually feel sincere about this after a while. It takes some time to fall in love and become friends with what who we don't see with our eyes we're so used to the "seeing is believing theory. The closer you draw to him during this lonely time the more hope you will have. That little tickle you feel in your heart when you remember He is always right there for you to talk to is delight. It's an amazing feeling and one He adores.

Don't crawl thru the fires of these first days, dance thru them knowing that He will never lead you to it unless He's going to lead you thru it He may be trying to teach you something thru this. Keep praying and listening and He will reveal the answer.

Love...Shell

The answers given are solely the opinion of the author and are not based on scientific, psychological or medical study.