It took me about eleven months to truly realize that before I could be part of a perfect love story I had to fall in love with Jesus first. Having lived the first 30-years of my life in and for the world this was a hard concept to grasp until I experienced heartbreak that nearly killed me. Actually, I did die in a way but through that death I was reborn into a whole new life and way of thinking. It was my heartbreak and the journey that followed that would lead me to the two greatest blessings in my life. My salvation and the gift of my husband. Without my First Love (salvation), I could never have appreciated the gifts that would follow. I learned that God will take the worst heartbreak in life and turn it into the biggest blessing ever.

I saved this article especially for this edition. With Valentines Day just two days away and the atmosphere of love and romance floating around I wanted to share my love story with you. For those of you who have already heard it a gazillion times; Loretta, Charlene, Carolyn…sorry guys…just once more.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away…just kidding!!

About seven years ago I was engaged to be married to someone I THOUGHT was the perfect one for me. One day, he kissed me good-bye and never came back; he ended our engagement with a phone call and I never saw him again. Ever. To say I was devastated wouldn’t quite describe the pain I experienced. I moved back to Palm Beach, Florida to live with my parents and honestly remember very little about the first few weeks after this incident. The pain was that bad.  Most women who have experienced heartbreak can relate to this awful feeling and some guys can too.

My heart hurt so bad I didn’t think I would survive. Literally, I thought it would kill me. In a way it did. Then one evening after I decided to take my own life by walking off the Palm Beach Inlet, I decided to simply sit on the beach and cry. I cried so hard I don’t think I had any tears left and while I was crying I looked out over the calm blue ocean and for the first time in my life I cried out to God and begged Him to please fix the mess I was in. To please bring my then fiancé back.

I said “God, if you’re really there, please…help me.” It was at that every moment that I met my Savior and the one who would give me the purest most unconditional love I could ever hope for.

In my heart I heard the Lord respond “Learn all I have to teach you and I will heal your broken heart”.  I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, I remember my Savior planting the seeds of faith deep in my heart. He was taking over and I was finally ready to let Him.

For the next eleven months I was determined to learn all the Lord had to teach me. I stopped working and dedicated myself to learning about the The One who blesses us with miracles of TRUE love and little by little the selfish desire that had led me to him started to evolve into a love affair I could never have hoped for. Day after day I realized that The Lord was ALWAYS there to love me, he would never call and break our engagement, cheat on me, abuse me or leave me. That was most important, I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted someone to love and to love me back.

As each day passed I became less dependant on the love of a man and totally dependant on the love of God. Finally, I realized that if my fiancé never came back I was going to be OK. I had the Lord and He comforted me and gave me a peace unlike anyone ever had. After eleven months of just Him and I; I was content. His grace was sufficient for me.

That’s when God put the finishing touches on my love story; complete with suspense, adventure and romance that only He could orchestrate. Ever notice when God writes the story the testimony is just incredible?

In late April 2000 I was hired by a citizens community watch group to build a web site exposing corruption in their town police department (enter the adventure part), soon after I built and launched the web site; fully loaded with information they had supplied me with about the bad guys I began receiving death threats from the very police they were exposing (enter the suspense part). Now I am always up for a challenge but what was happening was like a script out of a movie.  I prayed for guidance and felt an unshakable peace move through me so I moved forward and tried to find an agency that would help me and address the threats. Much to my dismay the FBI couldn’t help and other local agencies didn’t want to help. Then God sent an angel.

On May 4^th 2000 at exactly 4:37 P.M. The Lord chose to bless me with my miracle (here comes the romance!). Amazing how we remember the exact details when God literally reaches down and touches us. I had been on the phone all day with various agencies seeking help for my problem when my phone rang. I answered the phone and the voice on the other end said…”This is Special Agent Supervisor, Michael Washam with the Florida Department of Law enforcement; I saw your web site and I am going to try and help you”.

Have you ever just KNOWN when something was right? I spent the next four hours speaking to Special Agent Washam and never once did he ask me to marry him; but I had butterflies in my stomach and KNEW God was getting ready to do something BIG in my life. Our conversation was geared around the bad guys but when I hung up the phone I KNEW he was the one.  I eventually quit working on the web site and met my knight in shining armor in person; a while later he asked me to marry him and in January 2003 Mike planned a romantic weekend in New Orleans where we eloped (much to my parents relief!). God didn’t give me what I originally wanted; He gave me what I NEEDED. His choice for me was A THOUSNAND times better than what I thought I wanted. He gave me a believer and an angel in whom I see God’s reflection. Unlike my first marriage, when things get tough I go to Jesus, he was invited to the marriage and not just the wedding. It’s a prefect recipe for a blessed love affair.

My heartbreak, journey and miracle have all been the foundation of the Just4Ladies ministry. I had mislabeled love for so long and realized that a true, God blessed love is when I want the other person to be happy even if it means it is without me. It is realizing that no matter what, The Lord is part of this marriage and the author of this love-story as well as a main character. How can it go wrong? It can’t so long as it stays rooted in Him!

This Valentines Day I am praising God for loving me unconditionally and for blessing me with the gift of the most incredible husband for me on earth.  Happy Valentines Day everyone… I love you!